Many years ago, one of my best friends had a baby and it was a life-altering moment, not just for her but for me as well. At the time, we had been friends for approximately 15 years and had witnessed the milestones in each otherâ€™s lives. Marriage, divorce, acceptance and graduation from business and med schools, caring for aging parents and even their burials â€“ we had been through it all. However, now, things were different. She had given birth to a beautiful baby girl and had joined a club called â€œMothers.â€ I would join that club much, much later through the gift of adoption but I remember her trials well: the baby throwing her pacifier out of the crib a zillion times. Her leaking breasts. Her insecurities about whether she was doing the right thing as a mother.
During a shopping trip in an upscale store, I came across a perfume display and decided to buy my friend a nice perfume set along with a card that said, â€œThis is the mommy giftâ€, just for you. She immediately thanked me upon receiving the gift and stated that the baby receives all the attention, but people forget about the mother. I never forgot those words.
In May of this year, the American College of Obstetrician Gynecologists changed the guidelines for postpartum care and theÂ New York TimesÂ wrote a very cool article calledÂ A Survival Guide for the Fourth TrimesterÂ which I recommend all pregnant women read.
The fourth trimester should focus on healing, both physically, emotionally and while healing, please donâ€™t forget to give yourself some love.
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